Saturday, August 16, 2008

Spain Live Blog

Alright I am up for the start of the game and ready to go.  Basketball is probably the hardest sport to live blog about because there is no break in the action, but I make the sacrifice for you, the loyal readers.  A few notes:
-Sam was right: if the U.S. plays the way it did against Greece, we will steamroll all comers.
-That is not a guarantee. 

9:34-First spanish possession of the game: Howard steals the ball from Pau and it leads to  fast-break dunk by LeBron.  Hopefully we see more of this.

7:14-A 3!  By Melo!  Good thing, too.  The first 3 minutes the U.S. has played like the Knicks on acid thus far.

6:06: Really lame foul call on Kobe on the baseline.  Consider me the Bill Laimbeer of international commentary; any foul against us is a terrible call.  By the way, nice observation by Jon: on Pau's Jersey, it says "Gasol."  On Marc's jersey, it just says Marc.  I guess it's official: Marc Gasol has reached Cher status.

4:04: Chris Bosh called for a foul on the high pick-and-roll.  If him and Dwight Howard get too many fouls, we are officially in trouble.

3:41- Pete Mararvich-oops, sorry-Ricky Rubio comes in the game, floppy hair a-flying

3:04-Since Rubio has entered the game, both Spanish possessions have resulted in turnovers.  But it's ok, only one was his fault.

2:24-Pussy foul call beyond the 3 called on Deron Williams that sends Rubio to the line.  First of all, what do you want him to do?  Contrary to these ref's opinion, you do have to use your hands a little on D.  This game has been called vastly differently than any other games so far.  

2:24-Rubio misses the first.  Somewhere, Rasheed Wallace is screaming, "Ball don't lie!  Ball don't lie!"

1:38-Timeout by Spain after the U.S. goes up by 13.  

0:51-The Gasol brothers are both sporting long beards.  You know, they say people with beards have something to hide.  With these poor guys, it's so obvious: they have no chins.  They are craftily hiding it.  Nice.

End of first quarter-we're up 9.  Better start than Greece, but I'm not happy.

9:10-Reyes for Spain has been very good so far.  I have to say I'm impressed.

8:22-Whoever number 14 is on Spain, he has a permanent imprint of LeBron's nuts on the back of his head (oop from Tay).

7:11-Technical foul on Rudy Fernandez.  I'm sorry, but these refs are terrible.  They're trying to ban trash talk.  What?  It's ridiculous.

6:19-A replay shows Chris Bosh sneakin' a squeeze on Fernandez.  Good call, Chris.  If they aren't intimidated already, grab their ass and weird them out.

4:38-Number 12 for Spain is officially my least favorite basketball player ever.  Flopping all the time.  Not just him, his lips, too.  What do you have to say?  You're down, you have a severe overbite, and you're in way over your head.  So now you're talking to mask your fear.  Good plan.  

4:01-Rubio looks like he belongs in a Disney Channel Original Movie.  And he's playing like it, too.  Turnover count: 2.

2:44-Quick stat: Spain has been shooting well over 50 percent...and we're still up 17. 

1:44-Rubio watch: at the free throw line, looks for his teammates for fist-bumps, but there are none to be found.  It's ok, Ricky, sometimes imaginary friends are better than real ones.

1:30-Ooooh, touche, Ricky.  Very very nice pass from Rubio for an oop.  Gotta give credit where credit's due.      

Halftime-We are up by 16.  Spain has played true to form: they shoot well, flop like there's no tomorrow, and they're unselfish.  They are doing exactly what they want to do.  The only problem for them is that they are playing the best basketball they can and they're still down 16.  The U.S., however, is playing far from the best it can.  We'll see of they get better or worse in the second half.

Later in halftime-Ok, the Comcast commercial featuring the Wii is officially weird.  Am I the only one who thinks the old guy playing video games with the little girl is creepy?  By the way, Jon thinks the girl's a dude, but I tell him, no dude wears those color socks.  He won't listen!   

Later in halftime-From best to worst: if the above commercial is bad, the commercial for Nike featuring Marvin Gaye singing the star-spangled banner to Team USA practicing.  It's just moving, I love it.

Second half is starting now.  Let's get it.

9:10-Jason Kidd: Career-Ending Block!  What?!  On Rudy Fernandez!  What?!

7:36-Carmelo Anthony is officially dialed in.  He just hit a three, and I don't know how many that is, but it's a lot.

7:14-Dwight gets a near-career-ender on Marc "The Hobo" Gasol.  Seriously, there are about three guys on this team who looks remotely presentable.  You're repping you country.  Shave? 
  
3:54-Quick scene at my house after a reverse jam by DWade:
Me: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! OOOOOOH!  Oh my God!"
My brother: "That was horrible, to do that to someone."

2:37-Throwback call on Dwayne Wade.  Carry?  Really?

2:09- Oooh.  CEB by Dwayne Wade from behind on some Spanish guy who looks like he was plucked out of some dumpster in an alley-wait...that doesn't narrow it down very much.  Oh, and then Wade looked at him.  Lying on the ground.  Where most of these guys are ending up.

End of the third quarter-Doug Collins just referred to Wade as "the Little Flying Warrior."  Doug!  Now we need to give you a nickname!  How about, the Knight of Bald-Headed Lip-flapping?  By the way, we're up by 23.

By the way, that picture of the Spanish basketball team doing the Asian eyes thing?  Got to be top 5 most offensive things ever done at the Olympics.  The best part was their excuse: It was a joke!  We didn't mean for it to be a racial slur!  Oh ok, then it's cool.  Of course you meant it as a racial slur!  Even if you didn't, it doesn't matter.  It's surprising.  And disappointing. 

7:47-Rubio watch: 3 turnovers, about 8 billion bricks.  He has petitioned to build a second Great Wall of China.

5:47-Boy, Spain really isn't putting up much of a fight.  Like, at least make it look like your still trying.  We're up by 29 and showing no signs of relenting.  Tay's in.  That says it all.    As of now, Angola played us closer than this.

4:10-We've crossed the 30-point threshold on a Deron Williams-to-Dwight oop.  This has been the easiest game we've played so far.  

3:41-Pitty Foul called on Deron Williams.  

2:34-This seriously reminds me of the original Dream team.  The way Spain is moving (slowly and devoid of motivation), and the ease with which we are scoring, it's reminiscent.  Next thing you know, they'll be telling their teammates to take pictures and asking for autographs after the game.

1:06-This has to be a little demoralizing for the players from Spain going to the NBA, including Marc (last name not mentioned on purpose).  Welcome to the big leagues, fellas.

Rubio: 8 points, 3 assists, 3 rebounds.  Not bad, Ricky.  Not bad at all.  I've been ripping on him, and he didn't really jump out at all, but he played pretty well.  Especially considering he was a boy among men.

End of the Game-119-82.  37 points.  It was never a contest.  I can't believe I was ever thinking this would be a close game.  It is now apparent that China was actually the better team than Spain, and Spain got lucky.  This was a good message to send.  As Chris Paul so eloquently put it in his post-game interview, "We mean business."  Couldn't have said it better myself.  

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