Monday, September 8, 2008

Overheard in the Student Section: Miami

Well, I wish I could say that I didn't have to bring this feature back. Unfortunately, Webstarr and I, despite being surrounded by a completely different cast of characters while standing on the same seats we did last week, were subjected to further aural torture (sexy!) during the Michigan/Miami game. The lowlights:

The guy standing next to me who apparently decided to be the personal Keith Jackson to everyone withing hearing distance. Except he didn't know a 4-3 defense from a pack of angry wolves (although, to be fair, our defense often resembles such). The kid did have timing however. He would call out "punt", "pass", or "run" at the exact second that it became blindingly obvious to everyone who was not stabbing themselves in the eye with a working jackhammer exactly what was unfolding. No exact quotes are needed for this one; I think we've all sat near one of these before. I coped by loudly proclaiming exactly why the kid was completely wrong to Webstarr every chance I got without actually addressing him directly. Passive-aggressive behavior happens to be a specialty of mine. Obviously.

"Morgan Trent is a fucking joke."

This is essentially akin to saying "I am a sheep who has not watched a Michigan football game with my eyes open since 2005." Morgan Trent was an All-Big Ten honorable mention last year. Not the highest of praises, I know, but the guy is about as solid as solid can be for a collegiate corner. There are literally dozens of other things you should be complaining about, even on our defense (coughSTEVIEBROWNcough). Instead, dickwad in row 56 decided to blame every completed pass on Morgan Trent, regardless of coverage or responsibility. Note to this guy:

Photobucket

Thanks.

"C'mon Threet, throw a Henne block out there, you FUCKING ASSHOLE."

Exact quote, I swear to Fielding Yost. This came during the failed double-reverse to Martavious Odoms that only gained one yard. I don't really know what this guy expected, but Threet ended up all on his own with two guys to block. I guess this guy's definition of a 'Henne block' is to morph into Jake Long while gaining the ability to stop time in order to pick off the entire other team one-by-one. Seriously, I think Threet has many, many things to work on before he gets to refining his one-on-two blocking ability. But yeah, what an asshole.

"FUCK MIAMI, THEY'RE SO FUCKING GAY."

This gem came out of one girl's mouth after pretty much every successful play for either team. Even if you ignore the offensive nature of the statement, this hurts beyond belief. They are Miami of Ohio. We are Michigan. Even during an off-year, it is not worth directing this much bile towards a MAC team. Show some class. This is coming from a kid who was thoroughly entertained every time a certain friend would make a polygamy joke at Utah fans (best of the bunch: "Personal Foul: Too Many Wives"; which came right after one of the Utes' many 15-yard flags). When your statements are deemed too vulgar and stupid for the student section, please think about replacing the idiot filter that should be located somewhere between your brain and your mouth.

Note that every one of these statements (except obnoxious play-by-play guy) contains an f-bomb or two. Is there a direct correllation between stupidity and vulgarity? Actually, don't answer that, since I curse like a sailor on game days.

I'm pretty sure I can say this now: more coming in two weeks.

6 comments:

Keegan said...

I heard the following as well:

'McGuffie doesn't have the speed to run this offense"

Two play later he broke a 15 yard run

"Why the hell are we passing it"

It was early in the game after we had scored on two straight drives and we were moving again.

and my favorite

"Rodriguez doesn't know what he's doing out there"

Oh yeah, cause you do jack ass. All those BCS games at WVU were blind luck.

Ace, welcome to the WLA.

Ace said...

I'm honored, Keegan. We need to bring the revolution to the student section, clearly.

Mikey said...

I'm sorry Ace you had to go through all that, I guess I'm blessed to have quiet people around me that just care about us getting a touchdown and what not. But I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks Stevie Brown is missing his tackles and is having bad coverage...we have a while to go, but it'll take time which a lot of these idiots don't have the patience or intelligence to understand.

John said...

You are completely wrong. Morgan Trent is garbage. For some reason he gets good publicity. He's been a starter in one of the worst secondaries in the Big Ten the last three years or so. They haven't been decent since Marlin Jackson left.

BTW, why is Trent so cocky? He gets beat deep basically every game. Please go check the tape. Thank god he has speed so he can catch the guys from behind who ran past him while he was standing flat footed after a 40 yard gain.

Granted we have other problems on Defense but if I see him brushing the dirt off his shoulders two plays after coughing up a punt with hardly any contact, I'm going to start rooting for State.

Randall said...

Sir Ace of Sports,
It's apparent that you think all that is Holy is any team that comes from the state of Michigan. I, as well, come from the state and UM alum, but I do not carry the same blinders you do.

My particular issue concerns one Mr. Morgan Trent. To call him "as solid as solid can be for a collegiate corner" is laughable. The All Big Ten HM that he got is like the ribbon that all kids get when in 2nd grade just for playing. Morgan Trent can be summed up in one word - TERRIBLE!

Here is my analysis:
http://randallg.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/fuck-morgan-trent/

Ace said...

From Randall's "Analysis": "THIS KID IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST DB IN ALL OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL! YEAH, I SAID IT!"

Um, no. People continue to rag on him for his poor performance in 2006, when he was a sophomore tossed into a starting role he wasn't ready for.

"To be honest, the Michigan secondary has not been solid since Charles Woodson was there in 1997."

We were FIRST in the Big Ten in Pass Efficiency Defense and second in pass yardage defense last season, when Trent was the de facto leader of the secondary.

Do your research. Not every play where Trent is running a guy down is necessarily his fault. We have safeties, just like every other team. We play a lot of zone. Stevie Brown fucks up a lot.

I have yet to see or hear a solid argument that Morgan Trent is anything but a solid corner.