Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Pistons Sign Kwame Brown; Ace Throws Up In Mouth

For those of you who haven't heard yet, the Pistons signed former #1 draft pick and current complete bust Kwame Brown to a 2-year, $8 million deal yesterday. Reactions ranged from "what?!?!?!?" to "what the hell?" and even to "what the fuck?". My initial reaction is to always give Joe Dumars the benefit of the doubt, but the only way I'm signing off on this deal is if there's a trade involving Brown waiting in the wings.

Yes, Kwame Brown is a big body, and at one point in his life he was a talented player. Unfortunately, that point happened to be when he was 17 years old. Here's a rundown of what Kwame has accomplished since being the #1 overall pick in 2001:
  • Became undoubtedly Michael Jordan's worst personnel move as an executive. Michael Jordan is a terrible executive.
  • Has averaged all of 58 games played per season since entering the league.
  • Has career averages of 7.5 points and 5.7 rebounds per game.
  • From his Wikipedia page:
    "During the first round of the 2005 playoffs, in which they played against the Chicago Bulls, the Wizards played a video before their first game of the series, in which Arenas instructed the fans not to boo Brown when he entered the game. The fans complied, even though Brown played only four minutes in the game. In the next several days after the game, Brown skipped a practice and a shootaround, as well as the next game, claiming that he thought he would punch Arenas if he entered the game. He skipped another practice with a supposed stomach ailment, only to be seen later that night at a Chinese eatery. The Wizards responded by suspending Brown for the rest of the playoffs."
  • Was involved in one of more lopsided trades in recent memory when the Lakers gave up Caron Butler (an All-Star last season) and Chucky Atkins for Brown and Laron Profit.
  • Involved in a cake caper.
  • Pissed off Lakers fans to the point where they screamed in horror every time he shot the ball:

  • Inspired a website.
  • Involved in the most lopsided trade in anyone's memory, getting dealt to the Memphis Grizzlies along with Javaris Crittenton, Aaron McKie, Marc Gasol, and a couple draft picks for All-Star forward Pau Gasol. The Lakers go from borderline playoff team to 2008 Western Conference Champions.
  • The Grizzlies choose to allow Brown to walk as a free agent after playing all of 15 games in a Memphis uniform.
I was hoping waiting a day to post on this would provide some clarity as to why we signed Kwame Brown. With Amir Johnson, Chieck Samb, and Jason Maxiell already on the bench behind Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess, it seemed the last thing we needed was another big man. However, we just got one, and he isn't good. I still have no idea why.

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