Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Team USA Live Blog

Okay guys so sorry I had a little trouble getting up this morning and wouldn't have if I was not watching this with my buddy Jon who woke me up.  
Yes, I am ashamed.  The problem could be partly due to falling asleep at 5am.  Don't ask.
Anyway, let's get started.  There is now 4:30 left in the second quarter.

4:30-LeBron just blocked some Angola big man so savagely I am thinking of creating another new stat: Career-Ending Blocks.
3:24-Ok, it's 42-32 and I'm a little embarrassed.  It's Angola, guys.

1:23-In successive possessions LeBron just dunked, ran someone over for an and 1, made a great over-the head pass to Chris Bosh for a dunk, and then dunked off a great pass from Chris Paul.  I think I'm in love.  

Halftime-the lead has ballooned to 18 and we're doing the job, finally.  Granted, I only started watching about 7 minutes ago because I'm a lazy fuck, and it took me a little while to find my groove.  LeBron James is 5-5.  Will he miss?  Who knows?

Later in halftime- Spain just won their game against China in overtime.  These guys are supposed to be serious challengers?  Come on.

Later in halftime-Now for some reason we're talking about architecture during the halftime show.  This is kind of lame.  I'm watching a basketball game, not uh...an architecture...show.  So there.

Later in halftime-Debra Messing has a new show on USA.  My opinion: not attractive at all.  I can't be the only one here. 

Okay second half has started.  Let's get it.

8:44-Kobe has just missed two 3's in a row and is now 1-13 from 3 in international play.  What's the deal?  The international 3 can't be that distracting.  If he doesn't pick up his game, we're in trouble.  And, LeBron sucks at free throws.  We're 9-17 from the line, by the way.  Ugh.

7:03-Career-Ending Dunk number 1 for Dwight off an inbound pass from Jason Kidd.  The man really is Superman.  Love it.

6:00-360 jam by Kobe after a crappy bank shot the last time down.  Hopefully this gets him going finally--oh, never mind, he just missed again.

5:01-By the way, we aren't playing any defense.  Especially not Dwayne Wade.  Coach K cannot be happy. 

4:35-The commentator just called Deron Williams Deron Wilkins.  Kill me now.

3:25-We hit an open 3!  Yes!  Yessss!

3:07- During a timeout, Craig Sager desperately tried to dress as flashy as possible in his NBC-mandated polo.  Orange?  Really?

1:48-Good ball movement by Angola to get an open 3.  I kind of feel bad for them, they're really trying, but their center is 6'5".  It's just the talent level.  That, and our defense is absolutely smothering.  We play the best defense out of anyone in the tournament, hands-down.  

0:16-Doug Collins is desperately trying to rationalize why Tay is on the team.  Now he's talking about his character.  I'll let Sam handle this. 

End of the third quarter-we're still up by almost 20.  I have a feeling the deficit won't get any more or less than where it is right now. 

8:26-Chris Bosh just pulled the chair on this dude who tried to post him up.  My opinion: one of the most underrated defensive tactics in basketball.  If a guy is bodying you up hard, just pull the chair on their ass.  Incidentally, one of the premier chair-pulling artists: our own Rick Mahorn.

6:25-Number 6 on Angola just blew by Deron Williams for a slam.  This dude can officially fly.  He's actually been pretty fun to watch.  

5:21-Official Candace Parker sighting.  She's doing an interview with Craig Sager, the official King of All Questions Lame.  I hope she busts out a dunk on some lady.  I feel like women's ball is in the same spot men's was 10 years ago.  By the way: Candace parker?  I think she's pretty attractive.  Call me crazy. 

2:51-We're officially coasting.  Carlos Boozer just fumbled a pass from Deron Williams on a pick-and-roll.  Isn't that kind of his thing?  Oh, well.

1:53-Is Mike Breen the commentator?  I know Doug Collins is the analyst, but I think Breeny is the other guy.  Summation of his performance: sub-par.  Maybe next game.

0:35-Doug makes a good point about how point differential should not be considered for the tiebreaker.  It encourages running up the score.  It's ridiculous, and he was saying after 20 points, the point differential shouldn't matter, and he's completely right.  Find another tiebreaker.  Yet another rule that makes me think FIBA is made up of retarded 5-year-olds.

End of the Game-Overall, a decent performance from Angola, and a kind of embarrassing one from the U.S.  We really did not try at all.  We knew we were going to win, but come on.  I'll let Sam handle the analysis.  Craig Sager is interviewing Dwayne Wade.  I'm going back to bed.  thanks for tuning in, if there were any of you. 


JL said...

I would like to note that Joe did this entire live blog without the use of caffeine... or a shirt-- a true pro.

Ace said...

You are much stronger-willed than I, Joe. I took one look at my clock, realized we were playing Angola, and reset my alarm.

Joe said...

In retrospect, I probably should have done just that.