Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Tigers Choke in Epic Fashion

Warning: Bad language to follow. Lots.

I have a hard time bringing myself to recap last night's game. I'll say that watching Nick Swisher (I hate, hate, HATE Nick Swisher) round the bases with his stupid fucking bowl cut and his stupid fucking dip lip (don't even get me started on the fact he went to Ohio fucking State) was one of the more painful experiences I've had as a sports fan. It certainly ripped any last shred of optimism about the Tigers' playoff chances from me.

What went wrong last night? Where to start...
  • Nate Robertson sucks, and one again Detroit wasn't able to get more than five innings from him, let alone a half-decent start. If he has a rotation spot next year I question Dave Dombrowski's sanity.
  • Gary Sheffield was 0-5 with two strikeouts, and there's still no sign of Marcus Thames getting a shot at being the regular left fielder. Matt Joyce was also MIA. I'm quickly losing patience with Jim Leyland.
  • Kyle Farnsworth, determined to make me look like an idiot for defending the Pudge trade, gave up another home run, this one to blow a one-run lead in the eighth.
  • Edgar Renteria completely booted a routine grounder in the 14th that could've put the Tigers one out closer to sealing a much-needed victory. Apparently Edgar decided he wasn't hurting us enough with his bat, and figured he'd let start failing miserably on the defensive end as well.
  • Joel Zumaya gave up three hits, and the walk-off home run. The search for a closer is nowhere close to settled.
  • Fuck Nick Swisher.
Tigers coverage (which has already been lacking, sorry about that) may be pretty sparse unless a lot of things change. As it stands, writing about them is too depressing. At least everyone expects the Lions to suck anyway.

For more on last night's epic fail, click these links (I highly recommend Samara Pearlstein's rant on Swisher, if you haven't had your fill of that sort of thing).

Oh, and fuck Nick Swisher. Smirking Buckeye fuck.

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